HeLLoU

I have been shy all my life. I have had friends, they come and go. Never in all my life did I realize what a true friend can be until one nice day, and one nice word changed my life forever. Two years ago, I found out I have Agoraphobia. This is a general fear of people and places. It was a long road to discover this. I had found out a few years before that I had three lung diseases and had to leave a long time job I was very proud of. On the tail of that, I found out I had even more things wrong with my health, RLS - restless leg syndrome, IBS - irritable bowel syndrome, and Gerd just to name a few. Needles to say, life had not been great of late. Many times I could not even handle the small things, like a shower, a long overdue visit to my mother or letters which needed to be sent in a timely manner did not go out in time. My only joy was my Fiancé. He seemed to understand most of the time what difficulties I was going through, and excused my dirty house, lack of home-cooked meals, and he was always helpful when I needed him. Especially for a shoulder to cry on. You see, I could not even leave the house very often, because I would get so much anxiety, I would get sick. Life was not much fun, and I had no one to come see me most of the time. I would cry more about my loneliness than anything. My love would try to calm me. One day I went outside to water the few plants; I was able to handle this last year (against the anxiety I have every time I walk out the door) and I heard someone calling out to me. My first instinct was to ignore this voice and run back in to the sanctuary of my home. But for some reason, this time I responded to the voice by looking up and acknowledging her words. She was saying, "Hello, my name is Laurie and I was wondering if you would like to come over and play cards some time?" Call it instinct or some such thing, because I found myself shouting back "Sure, love to." That was only four short months ago, and they have been the happiest four months of my life! It took me a week or more to actually come around and get to know her. But once we began to talk, we realized we would be friends for life. We are both 38 years old, we went to the same school here in our home town, we love the same music, and the same food (she is almost as good as MOM when she cooks!) We both love the same movies, knick-knacks, camping, fishing, and traveling. We both say the same things at the same time and have even tried to pick the same thing up and bumped heads doing so, which sent us into gails of laughter! Now I suppose this is only coincidental that we are so much alike, but I like to think Daddy and God are looking over me, and they sent me an Angel! My new found friend was always there. The school we both attended during the very same years, which was almost twenty- five years ago and the fact that she has lived across from me for the last 7 years does not matter now, but sometimes we talk of all the good times we have missed. My friend was lonely too you see, so maybe I am her Angel and her mother and God are looking after her too! I have cried as I have written this, but for once they are tears of joy! I can hardly wait for her to come home from work tonight. I know we will say something at the same time, and laugh like there is no tomorrow, or plug in a movie and bite our nails together through the suspense. It does not matter what we do, as long as I have my ANGEL!